i use the word fuck so excessively i sometimes forget it’s a swear word
a while ago i was watching a movie with someone and the woman in it was getting MURDERED, and my friend was like “better turn it down incase my parents think we’re watching porn…” Do you not understand how terrifying that is?
please don’t make people with depression feel guilty for their lack of interest in things or their inability to motivate themselves please and thank you goodbye
on that note, please don’t make people with anxiety feel guilty about their inability to do tasks you deem simple and literally call them children and tell them to grow up because of it
If you’d rather go to a club than a museum, you deserve to be unhappy.
museum? what the fuck is in a museum? they got bitches in museums? alive bitches?
important headcanons to consider:
- can they use chopsticks
- what do they do when they cant sleep
- what would they impulse buy at the grocery store
- what order do they wash things in the shower
- what’s their coffee order
- what sort of apps would they have on their smartphone
- how do they act around children
- what would they watch on tv when they’re bored and nothing they really like is on
Dreams would be much more fun if they were multi-player servers that other sleeping people could join.
isnt that basically Inception
Ah, Bisexuality Day, when Freddie Mercury visits all the bisexuals who’ve been good the past year and gives them presents
Ha ha, I can’t believe you still think Freddie Mercury is real. Everybody knows it’s really your parents.
IT IS FREDDIE. I’VE SEEN HIM! HE COMES TO YOUR HOUSE AND LEAVES YOU OSCAR WILDE BOOKS AND MARLON BRANDO MOVIES.
john oliver is really not fucking around
how come i can keep a poker face on when reading aggressive frickling and frackling but i end up a gooey mess when there are cute nose boops and shy kisses and shit
I was reading a smutty fic on the bus and a boy leaned over and said “how can you read that with a straight face” and i just said “im used to it” and the look of horror on his face was hilarious